Back to the Back

I finally got some care for my back, from a wonderful chiropractor in downtown Austin. Sure enough, the lowest vertebrae were jacked up. Which is an official term. That I use.

The doctor did a few adjustments on the mid and lower areas of my spine and I feel entirely better some 12 hours after the treatment. I've had issues there before. The chiropractor was quite happy with my range of motion, flexibility and muscle tone. But here's the thing. I had rehearsal tonight for T. Henry Baudecliffe (opening SATURDAY) and it is an entirely physical show. And I felt as if I really should hold back, was hyper conscious of my posture, the heels I was wearing, holding back onstage and off. Very odd. I don't tend to "mark things" in rehearsal.

Marking, a dance term, is when you move through the steps without going full out. You do it to make your brain remember where you are, where your feet go and so forth, but you don't expend all your energy.

Most improv rehearsals suffer from marking. You need to do it them at least at 3/4 level of intensity, because to just lackadaisically "meh" the scenes or beats, is death in improv. So it was a weird experience. I didn't like it. I know it was necessary but it left me feeling paranoid and in my head every time I bent or leaned or was in a scene that called for becoming a birthing cloud-mother in the full throes of labor. I sort of was at fault for that one.

Interestingly, the area of my back most jacked up is associated with the second chakra (or there abouts) and while I am not really religious I do like to connect as many things to my body as possible. Perhaps I'm having some blockage in my body, there in the Swadisthana, which is what done got adjusted via Dr. Wright, or the Manipura (which is what hurt terribly after the couch lift).

All I know is that you don't want a blockage on or off stage. I want to just give it all, full bore and not worry about the consequences, physically. Am I holding back? Maybe. There are dangers in holding back. And there are risks in letting it all out.