Souls Speaking

There are many ways to love, for our souls to recognize each other.

I heard this concept of souls recognizing each other in a film called Venus Boyz. It keeps coming up for me, in various pieces I've done lately, or in watching my eldest deal with the the first blushes of young love, or sitting with my mom at the nursing home.

There is a scene in the film where two artists are describing meeting and having a connection of some sort. Assuming it is the call of the erotic, they become lovers and it's a bit of a disaster. But they wise up and realize that while their souls connected, the song those souls were singing wasn't one of erotic love, but something else. Maybe a grandparent to grandchild kind of intensity.

But in our traditional western hetero linear culture, with it's boy meets girl fall in love forever need only one partner kind of narrative.....well, having intense feelings for another person just isn't really acceptable unless it's "love". Loving two people at once isn't ok. Having a sexual intensity with one person and an emotional intensity with another isn't ok. Feeling inexplicably drawn to someone you "shouldn't be" isn't ok.

You get to have platonic friends (but not too friendly). You get to have kids or parents. You get to have a marriage. But you don't get to have anything else.

There are a lot of other intense feelings that we can have for each other, feelings that don't often fit any of those roles. But often we have to put them some place. Feelings then get interpreted as love, when they are something else entirely OR maybe both actually (as if it wasn't confusing to begin with).

I find working in the arts confusing at times. I'll be the first to admit (and I know I've said this before) that when I'm in a show or rehearsal, I fall in love with pretty much everyone in the room. I love the play and creation. I love the opportunities and freedom that then narrows itself into a form for the audience. I love the feeling of diving off of a high cliff that improv and performance in general brings.

I miss it when it's gone. The people yes, but also the entire experience of building something. Maybe art is nothing but love coming in and out of existence with the help of people making a kind of love to each other.

I wish there were more words for love, and more ways to express it without risking alienating others. There is a great deal of beauty and fragility in the human animal. I wish we could all be so much more gentle with each other. We make so many mistakes even while trying so hard to be perfect. All we have is each other and we should remember that love is something everyone needs, even if we mess it up at times.

Or maybe I'm just completely full of shit. Wouldn't be the first time.