At the time of this posting there are 5 days to go until this "triathlon" thing I've signed up to do. I am, currently, feeling the probably expected (at least for me since that just seems to be how the fuck I do it) self doubt which attaches itself to most of my ventures. The questions of "why am I doing this?" "what makes me think this was a good idea?" "you know you are gonna totally bonk, right?"

Yes, there are violins playing. Sue me.

Yesterday, I went to the gym and ran three miles. I walked a small bit of it. That's actually a success in my book, since I've never been able to run even a mile. Tomorrow, I was planning on biking, but I seem to have caught a virus of sorts, stomach related and who knows how I'lldo.

And then I'll just hope to maud that I'll have done enough of all of it to make it work on Sunday without dying, or messing up too much.

I want to be in a better mood about all of this. And I usually am. But I've been feeling like maybe all of my ventures lately are just fiddling while Rome burns. And being sick doesn't help the mood. Hey, at least I'll be able to run from the fire, right?